Writing Your Own Vows
|"Thank you for spending time with us prior to our wedding to help us create the most beautiful wedding ceremony ever! We have received so many compliments about our service. It was definitely the best part of the whole day for me. We couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you! You definitely have a God-given gift. Keep up His work! Love, Leah"
When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.
So, you want to chuck tradition and write your very own words of love to one another? Being able to boil down all the feelings you have, write them down, and say them on the most nerve-racking day of your life takes some planning. Here are some tips to get you started.
Here are some questions to ask yourself, to get your brain and your heartstrings going.
- When did you meet, and where?
- What state of mind were you in before you met?
- When was the moment you realized you were in love? How did it feel?
- Think about when you got engaged. Where were you?
- Do you remember the song that was playing, the meal you had, what you were wearing?
- What did it feel like?
- What are three things that inspire you about your loved one?
- What are the goals you are looking forward to together?
- What have you learned from your love? And your love from you?
- What qualities do you believe will keep your marriage strong?
- Specifically how will you accomplish that?
- Do you have novels, poems, or songs that make you think of your love?
- Write down special lyrics, or the meaning behind them. Why do they move you so?
- Compare how you felt before you met to how you feel now. What's changed?
- In what ways do you see the world through "new eyes"?
WARNING! This is going to require you to be a bit mushy and sappy.
You can do it! Just mean what you say, feel it within, and it won't seem so sappy anymore. Good Luck!
- Write down any scriptures or other readings for your wedding (or make sure to bring them with you).
- Write down your favorite lines from any solos being sung at your wedding or from your First Dance song.
- Write down any favorite quotes you may have or sayings that have been meaningful to your relationship.
- On the blank piece of paper you brought with you, write a letter to your fiancé using the following instructions:
- Begin with a salutation that is very heartfelt; For example, “My Dearest...,”
or something to that effect.
- In the first paragraph, tell him/her how much s/he means to you and your life.
- Begin the next paragraph with the words, “It seems like only yesterday that...” Run with it.
- In the next paragraph tell him/her how you felt when you realized you were in love with them.
- In this paragraph, tell him or her what marriage means to you.
- What aspects of being married are you looking forward to?
- What are some of your fears?
- How are you going to address these fears if and when they come about?
- Finally, close your letter with words of love and thanksgiving for your significant other.
- Now, get back together with your fiancé and switch both this paper and the letters you have written.
- When you are finished reading each other's papers, go back through and underline your favorite sentences or words of your fiancé's answers and letter.
On another sheet of paper, write down your brainstorms.
Start your vows with something close to the effect of “I ______, take you, ______.” or, “I ______ choose you, _______.”
This will get the ball rolling. Continue writing, using the sentences and words you found most meaningful to you and your relationship.
- Now, make a copy of your vows for both of you.
Stand up, hold hands, and give it a try.
When you read your vows look into his or her eyes and pretend that you are actually standing at your wedding. If you find yourself coming close to tears, your attempts have been a success!